Leading as a Woman: Owning Our Successes in a World That Overlooks Them

Good work isn’t always enough—especially for women in leadership. But by speaking openly about our wins and the barriers we navigate, we create space for one another and challenge the silence that too often surrounds our success.

Athina Dilmperi - Wed 16 Apr 2025 07:08 (updated Wed 9 Apr 2025 15:00)

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Leadership is often a lonely experience, but for women, it can be even more so. I still remember when I first stepped into my role as the Acting Head of Department, while still being a Senior Lecturer. I had worked hard to get there, but the reality of leadership felt isolating in ways I hadn’t anticipated. The decisions were bigger, the scrutiny was sharper, and while I had a team around me, the weight of responsibility was mine alone.

On top of that, I quickly realised that expectations for women in leadership are far from straight-forward. Be strong, but not too assertive; be warm, but don’t let people take advantage; be confident, but not self-promoting. Unlike other professional achievements, leadership success doesn’t always come with recognition. Worse, when we do talk about our achievements, we risk being perceived as boastful or self-serving in ways that men rarely are. And then, of course, there’s how we look and how old we are.

Being judged on appearance rather than competence

Women leaders are judged not just on competence but on appearance in a way that our male colleagues rarely are. I’ve seen it happen countless times! “She’s too polished, she must be superficial.” Or the opposite: “She doesn’t look the part” or “She lacks gravitas”. If a woman is attractive, her skills are downplayed; if she doesn’t conform to certain beauty standards, she’s seen as less authoritative.

Then, there’s age bias. If you’re a young woman in leadership, people assume you lack experience, no matter your qualifications or track record. Many women leaders have shared how, early in their leadership journey, they had to prove themselves in ways that male colleagues simply didn’t. Their decisions were questioned more, their authority was tested, and they had to be exceptionally prepared every single time just to be taken seriously.

At the same time, older women face heightened scrutiny over their appearance or leadership style. A man’s grey hair gives them gravitas and distinguished looks, a women’s grey hair shows she is past it, and is letting herself go. It’s exhausting, and it’s a moving target.

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Even when women do everything right, when they have the track record, the strategic vision, and the leadership experience, they still find that good work alone is not enough. Many learn the hard way that decisions about leadership roles are often shaped by biases around age, credentials, or outdated expectations of what a leader should look like. Women are often passed over despite their competence, while less-experienced male colleagues are seen as having "potential".

These issues for female leaders in higher education don’t exist in isolation. The treatment of women leaders like Jacinda Ardern, Sanna Marin, Kamala Harris or Ursula von der Leyen, shows how bias operates across sectors, scrutinising tone, appearance, confidence, and visibility. Leadership, when performed by women, is still too often read through a distorted lens. And these cultural signals shape how women experience leadership in academia and beyond.

Start talking openly about your leadership moments

But here’s the truth: leadership as a woman requires immense skill, resilience, and emotional intelligence. So, I suggest that we start owning our leadership wins and talking about them. If we don’t, we reinforce the silence that keeps female leadership undervalued.

Women in leadership are often expected to work twice as hard for the same recognition, and to do so without drawing attention to the effort it takes. But noticing, articulating, and celebrating our own leadership successes is not arrogance, it’s essential. It helps us recognise our growth, support each other, and shift the culture that keeps women’s leadership invisible.

Perhaps you recently found yourself in a difficult exchange, where you needed to give honest feedback or hold someone accountable—carefully, clearly, and without being misread. Or maybe you’ve made a complex decision under pressure, balancing competing priorities and managing expectations across the board. These are not everyday tasks. They require judgement, strength, and empathy. These are leadership moments, and we should name them as such.

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Six tips for how to own and amplify your leadership wins

Talk about your leadership with pride. If you handled a difficult situation well, say so. If someone praises you, resist the urge to downplay it, own it.
Call out biases when you see them. If a woman leader is being critiqued in a way that focuses on her looks or age rather than her skills, say something. We change the narrative by challenging these judgments when they appear.
Ask other women about their leadership moments. We often assume what we do is just “part of the job” and not worth mentioning. Help colleagues see the value in their own work.
Keep a leadership success journal. Track the moments that show your growth: the hard decisions, the times you influenced change, the moments you set boundaries and were respected for it.
Amplify the work of other women leaders. If you see a female colleague doing something impressive, say it out loud in a meeting, write a LinkedIn post about it, or just tell her directly.
Create or join a network for women in leadership. A space where women can candidly share challenges, strategies, and successes is invaluable in countering the isolation that often comes with leadership. I’ve recently joined the Senior CYGNA group, a newer strand of the CYGNA network that brings together women in senior academic roles to explore the realities of leadership, share experiences, and offer support to one another. It’s a space intentionally created to make these conversations possible; especially those that are often difficult to have elsewhere. Initiatives like this remind us that leadership doesn’t have to be lonely, and that peer support is not a luxury, but a necessity.

Women are conditioned to believe that good work speaks for itself. But in leadership, visibility matters. If we don’t talk about what we achieve, who will?

Let’s start now.

Note

This post was inspired in part by a brilliant blogpost on the invisibility of teaching achievements by Dr Siân Stephens. Her reflections on professional pride, and the tendency to downplay our work, sparked my own thoughts about how women leaders often face the same dilemma, compounded by bias, age, and appearance. I believe in continuing that conversation, and I'm grateful for her writing as a catalyst.

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I’m Head of Department at Middlesex University, where I lead with a focus on performance, equity, and sustainable change. I’m committed to building transparent systems of accountability and supporting inclusive leadership that empowers people to thrive. My approach centres on aligning vision with delivery—bringing clarity to roles, KPIs, and processes to drive meaningful progress. As a researcher I integrate insights from marketing, consumer psychology, and organisational studies to explore how consumption, technological innovation, and stakeholder collaboration shape individual, collective, and organisational outcomes. I come from a creative and entrepreneurial background, shaped by years growing up in a family-run music business. That early immersion in music continues to influence how I lead and reflect. Music is both my compass and my reset—it keeps me grounded, curious, and attuned to the stories that shape how we lead and connect. It reminds me that leadership, like music, is as much about listening as it is about direction.

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